This is the stephcurrysalt edition of this series, and you should listen to everything on this because I’m an expert and #ThatGuy isn’t

Here’s why I am an expert: Got relationship advice off TikTok and X. Had relationship experts Guru, LakerViking and GSauceW help me with this project. Made my entire portion of this while high

Alright, I’ll cut to the point: expert dating advice, brought to you through members of the Fanspo Discord!!

1- Getting To Know Her: If you like her but haven’t talked to her, here’s what you should do: A- not say a word until she approaches you. Alpha males never make the first move 🔥💯😎 B- be a dumbass in class. What girl doesn’t love a guy who plays baseball and yells 67 and Diddy ah blud in the middle of class?

2- How To Impress A Girl: ask her out while playing Ken Carson in ONLY ONE AIRPOD while wearing your MAGA hat and ice cream shorts. If that doesn’t work, try again by yelling MUSTARDDDDDDDDD and not doing any of your schoolwork. The lower the GPA, the higher the alpha male levels!

side note: Alpha males are dominant in the relationship 🚨💯🔥💔😎🗣️🤫

Other ways to impress her: take her on a camping trip just to howl like a wolf, roll in dirt, and offer her the “sacred twig” to show how dedicated you are to the relationship. B-make her a book of the two of you going on AI generated adventures, like getting married and traveling the world. Don’t forget to mention how many days you’ve liked her, it makes her feel wanted! C- build a shrine of her in your room, with pictures from her IG, candles, and other cherished things, then invite her over to show how much you love her!

3- The First Date: Here are the best things to do on your date: A- stay glued to your phone. B- talk about your ex nonstop. C- be rude to your waiter. D- show up late and be nonchalant when you arrive an hour late. E- show up hammered. F- continue to talk over them all the time. G- lie about everything to them. it’s only a lie if she finds the truth! H- complain about everything

4- What To Say On The First Date: A- “She’ll just take a salad”: show how much you’re looking out for her. B- “you’re wearing that?”: she will love how you publicly talk about her outfit. C- “do you always eat that much?” : crack some jokes and get her laughing! D- “my ex loved this place”: show her that ur an alpha male lady magnet to prove how lucky she is to date you! E- “Let me borrow 20 dollars”: test to see if she’s a gold digger. F- “ur makeup looks messy”: honesty is key in relationships. G- “you have a lot of confidence to wear THAT”: again, honesty is the best policy. H- “I forgot my wallet”: test if she’s the one that will pay for you, because you spent all your money on new gloves for baseball! Lastly, I: “you need to learn your place in this relationship”: flex your alpha male power on her, trust me, this attracts every woman!!!

And that’s that, you will get a long-term partner if you follow this advice, not that other dudes false ideas!

Signed, stephcurrysalt, Guru, LakerViking, and GSauceW