Main moves: Steve Ballmer, owner, sells the franchise.

I mean this one is just logic. No one cares you are a billionare, the salary cap is there for a reason. And now the team is in a shithole because you thought you're the smartest just cause you're the richest. Get out of my face.

Sign G Yuki Kawamura (Wendell Moore because he's not in the trade machine) on a 1 year, minimum deal.

Okey, so you're gonna be a bottom 5 team for the next 7-10 years at least.You are COOKED. Those are the facts. Sooo you might as well be a well-liked team and sell jerseys, and Yuki guarantees you that. He's a mass phenomenom, with teams that aren't his chanting his name, and you could use that.

Trade Derrick Jones Jr., 2032 own SRP swap to the Portland Trailblazers in exchange for Scoot Henderson.

Yeah, I know they aren't in the best place to give away picks, but they change a SRP for a 3rd pick not that long ago. I'm pretty sure Portland passes, but who cares you know it's not like I'm the 8th richest person in the world and an asshole who evades the salary cap and I get to make real trades and then pay my players extra money through their secret brand or idk what (Ballmer I hate you).

Trade Brook Lopez to Milwaukee Bucks in exchange for a 2033 SRP via Miami (protected 31-55).

Umm this pick proly ain't conveying but if it does they get a pick for an old player and make space for Yannic in the rotation. Milwaukee get a guy who can mentor Kelel for basically free, unless that pick conveys

Trade Kris Dunn to Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for Tidjane Salaun as part of a three-team trade with Charlotte.

Another young guy they get. Kris Dunn is great but he's a free agent next summer and he'll want out. This way Minnesota gets some perimeter D and move injured Donte.

Kill Adam Silver 😈

Nah guys just joking assasination is never the way. Blackmailing would probably be the best move 😈😈😈