Here's how I did it, starting off I learned which gamemode I was playing in Rivals, if it was Domination, I would use a team from both conferences, Convoy would mean I would have 2 western teams, and Convergence would get me two eastern teams. I got Convoy.

To get the actual teams, I took the kills of the top player on my team to get Team 1, which was 12, so I got the 12th best team in the West, and then on the other team, which was 32, so I went down the list, skipping Portland, and going through the list multiple times before landing on Denver.

Then, to decide how many players each team would be trading, I took the amount of DPS (duelists) at the beginning of the game on my team, and that would be how many players Team 1 was trading, which was 3

And for Team 2, it was how many strategists (healers) I had at the beginning of the game, which was 1 (needless to say, I immediately switched to playing strategist)

So now I had Portland trading 3 players, and Denver trading 1, but to decide the players, I used the kills of the worst player on my team, which was me and two other bums who got 2, 6, and 6 kills each, so I used the 2nd highest paid, the 6th highest paid, and then the 6th highest paid again, after the other two were traded, getting me Jerami Grant, Scoot Henderson, and Shaedon Sharpe.

The kills of the worst player on the opposing team was 12, however, and the 12th highest paid player on the Nuggets is Jalen Pickett, so now Jalen Pickett was getting traded for Jerami Grant, Scoot Henderson, and Shaedon Sharpe, but to get the picks, I did how many points each team got, my team got 0, because we sold, and gave up 0 picks, but the opposing team got 3, so Team 2 gave up 3 first round picks.

All of this got us this monstrosity of a trade, and shoutout Ajgreen for starting this trend

Comment what wacky way I should make a trade with next!