(DO NOT SCROLL FAST PAST THE DESCRIPTION, READ IT.)
Okay, I know this sounds weird, but let me explain:
Rule number 1-
This is a public camera for a naked mole rat:
https://nationalzoo.si.edu/webcams/naked-mole-rat-cam
Using camera 2, I can look in which direction the rat is going (left=west, right=east, if he is going down the tunnel=south, if he is going up the tunnel=north).
Rule number 2-
Starting from the center of the continental US, which is in Kansas, I move one state in the direction the rat moves (for example if rat goes up I move to Nebraska, by I mean me on google maps btw), until I reach a state with a NBA team in it.
If that state has multiple NBA teams, I will roll a random number generator to determind the team.
Rule number 3-
After I will get my first team, I will spin a wheel of the 50 US states (48 actually sorry Hawaii and Alaska), in that state I will start moving for my second (and 3rd if needed) team(s).
If that state already has a NBA team/teams, it wouldn't count, unless the rat chose to reroute.
Rule number 4-
in the trade itself, I can only use players from x team that were born in states that were already in that round.
If the team doesn't have at least 2 players from states that were in that round, we skip the team.
I'll cover all the niche rules if they are needed later but they are unneeded right now so let's get started!
Round 1:
I waited for like 10 minutes and than I finally saw the rat and he moved west (left), which means we are going to Colorado and thus Denver!
Now do the Denver Nuggets have 2 players from Colorado or Kansas?
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YES, both Cristian Braun and DaRon Holmes II were born in Kansas.
BUT Kansas doesn't count because the rat didn't choose to go there, it is the automatic starting place so only Colorado counts and the Denver Nuggets do not have any NBA contracted players that were born in Colorado SOOOO we skip them (unless we get more states to use players and then the rat comes back to Colorado)!!!!
So what is next? Lag issues for half a hour obviously...
But after the lag issues were "fixed" it loaded and the rat instently moved left, again!
(I feel like now is a good time to mention there are multiple rats at the naked mole rat camera, so the title should be "RATS made this trade" but I think 1 rat would sound better because Ratatouille and stuff)
So we are going to Utah! And again, do the Utah Jazz have 2 players from Colorado and Utah?
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NO, only John Collins was born in Utah and no Utah Jazz players were born in Colorado.
So now where does the rat want us to go next?
South! So the rat wants us to go to Arizona and the Phoenix suns!
Now, are there 2 Pheonix Suns players that were born in states that the rat passed by in this round?
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No as well.. only Oso was born in one of the states that the rat passed by (Arizona) so we skip them.
(Good night because this took multiple days to make so thats day 1)
Next!!
The Rat chose to go back north, so we are going back to Utah!
But the question is, if players from Arizona are gonna move the line?
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No, John Collins is still the only player from any of this states.
Next!!!!!!
Now, two rats moved at almost the same time.
The first one moved west (left) so we are addind Nevada too our available states list!
The other rat moves south, so we are going to California and rolling a random number generator!
Before I roll, here are the numbers:
Lakers-1
Clippers-2
Warriors-3
Kings-4
And its (drum rolls).........
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4! Sacramento are the team that got rolled!
You already now the drill, do the Kings have over 2 players from these states?
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YES, both Jake LaRavia (if traded he will be a sign and trade) and DeMar DeRozen were born in Cali so we have our first team!
Round 2!
I span the wheel and got New Hampshire!
Now we go back to the rat:
He chose south which means we are going to Massachusetts and Boston! (Why tf did the rat want to go to Boston?)
Now, do Boston have 2 players from both Massachusetts?
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Nah none of the players are from Massachusetts I got my hopes up for nothing
Next!!!!!!!
The rat is going north which means he is or going to New Hampshire again or to Maine.
To chose where he will go, if the rat moves down or left he is going to New Hampshire but if he is going up or right he is going to Maine.
The rat went left, so we are going to New Hampshire!
-. . -..- - -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.--
The rat went up, but then another rat pushed the first rat back down.
Which means we include players from Quebec, and yeah because of Raptors we counting canadian provences but only ones that border Ontario so the Rat won't go to Greenland or something.
For anyone wandering the addition of Quebec adds us a whopping 3 players:
Benedict Mathurin, Lu Dort and Omax were all born in Montreal.
VOLGENDE!!!!!
The rat walked backwards, but to the left, so we are going to NY!
Before the random number generator here are the numbers:
Knicks-1
Nets-2
And it's 2 (Brooklyn)! But does Brooklyn have 2 players that were born where the rat moved?
While searching where the players were born I found that Cam Thomas was born in Japan, so thats cool ig.
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NO ONE, yeah no Net was born in these states which is crazy considering we added NY.
NÄSTA!!!
(New day btw)
The rat has chosen to go north, which is weird:
I didn't mention it (because the rule was too niche) but if there are multiple states/provences in a direction, I roll a random number generator to determind what state/provence the rat will go.
So here are the numbers:
1-Conneticut
2-Quebec
3-Ontario (including Toronto)
And it's... drum rolls
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1! Conneticut!
Next!
South... so yeah here are the numbers again:
Knicks-1
Nets-2
And it's....
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Nets again...
You know the drill, does Conneticut change everything?
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OBVIOUSLY NO
Next!
The rat moved east, so random number generator again!
1-Conneticut
2-Massachusetts
3-Vermont
And it rolled..
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2!, Massachusetts and the Boston Celtics!
Do Boston bla bla bla?
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NAHHHH, still nobody.
Next!
The rat chose west to New York again, so here are the numbers again:
Knicks-1
Nets-2(no need to search it up we know the answer)
And it is...
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2, oof.
Next!
South!!!!!!!!! We are going to Pensylvania and Philidelphia!!!!
Now, does Philidelphia have 2 players from states the rat had been?
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YES, 3 infact, Justin Edwards, Lonnie Walker and Kyle Lowry were born in Pensylvania so yeah we can make a trade!
So yeah that is the trade! My thought on this trade is that something like this wouldn't happen, but I won't say this is unrealistic.
Look the Kings might not have LaRavia next year because they maybe won't be the highest bidder so they will take some nice backup players and some seconds for a player they maybe won't have and for the 76ers LaRavia could be a nice backup especially when injurys start kicking in.
So yeah that was the post! I spent weeks, yeah weeks on this and I don't normally ask for likes and flames but I would really want you to like and flame this, and have a good day!