Well done to the Hawaii Tropics, who very surprisingly won last year's championship! Here's our initial post from the creation of the league for background, if you're new here. Without further ado, let's hop into the current rankings!
CONTENDERS
1. Minnesota Timberwolves - How much of a difference one trade can make. We'll detail that trade when we get to the Nuggets (much lower), but for now let's focus on who's here. The Timberwolves turned a wealth of highly drafted -- though not necessarily well-performing -- picks and Devin Booker into three stud starters, and they get to pair them with Dejounte Murray and Chet Holmgren. Those 3 (Jabari Smith Jr., Jaren Jackson Jr., and Johnny Davis) are perfect positional fits around the remaining two core Timberwolves members, and all five can shoot and play defense. That would be a nasty enough starting lineup of 5 85+ guys, but then you add in the fact that they didn't give up either of their best young players (Peyton Watson or Damion Collins), and still have 4 more players between a 79 and an 81. RJ has always been excellent at stacking assets, but has never been able to turn those assets into a true Finals contender... until now. It's scary hours for anyone outside of Minnesota.
2. Pittsburgh Ironmen - The Ironmen should have an easy path to the Finals, with most of the other good squads belonging to Western conference teams. They were slated to go into the year with Giannis Antetokounmpo and Ben Simmons at the 4 and 5, opting for a small ball unit emphasizing playmaking and versatility. Then, they added Mitchell Robinson for next to nothing, and now are starting him alongside the other two aforementioned players. Now, they'll be leaning much more into size and defense across the board, which has historically worked well for the Ironmen. The team would be good enough if it was just those guys, but the Ironmen flank them with a plethora of young talent, including Shaedon Sharpe, Nikola Jovic, Tyty Washington, Jalen Roach, Amen Thompson, and more. They lack nothing other than perimeter shooting, but if they end up feeling that their lineup is too large and clunky, you can be sure their new full-time GM will make a move to address it in no time flat. Some have called him the LeBron of CmanCalzone sim leagues: regularly makes the Finals (but irregularly wins), and is either the first- or second-best in history, depending on who you ask. It looks like he's got a good shot at making the Finals again this year, but whether or not he takes home any hardware is something we won't know until the final playoff stream.
3. Houston Rockets - Purely on talent, I'd probably have the Rockets at two above the Ironmen, but Pittsburgh gets the slight edge due to a significantly easier conference. They added Steph Curry for absolute pennies, and even though his team was horrible last year, you have to imagine he's a big help here. I'd argue the Rockets could've won the championship last year if they weren't starting 74 overall Dick Rubs at point guard, so adding a 92 there is a pretty big upgrade. Steph and Zion Williamson's outside-inside game should be borderline unstoppable together. Add an 88 overall two-way R.J. Barrett, a regressing (but still productive) 84 overall Bradley Beal, and a solid defensive center in 85 overall Yannick Nzosa, and you get one of the most complete starting lineups in the league. Then you look at a bench featuring perennial 6MOTY candiate Tyler Herro, Wendell Carter Jr. (who would start on most teams), and recent ninth overall pick Luther Gilbert, and you see that this is a team that's truly ready to go the distance.
4. Detroit Pistons - The Pistons still have a very complete and balanced roster. Ja Morant is a tiny Zion putting constant pressure on the rim, Zach Lavine is a complementary three level scorer, and Jarrett Allen is one of the best defensive centers in the league. Michael Porter Jr. has been the 6MOTY forever (although he's finally starting now), and Kyle Kuzma is very serviceable as a fourth option and solid defender. Fred Van Vleet, Chris Duarte, Matt Detroit, and Naz Reid round out a very solid 9 man rotation. This team lacks any semblance of perimeter defense, but if they can get you into a shootout, odds are their crazy firepower will be enough to win.
5. Hawaii Tropics - I'd be lying if I said I thought the Tropics had the fifth-best roster in the league, but this roster just won the whole dang thing last year, no doubt due to the current regime's emphasis on locker room continuity and previous championship experience. For that reason, they have to be included here and given the benefit of the doubt. It's official that Paolo Banchero is not That Guy, but fortunately for him, Cade Cunningham is. A roster composition of one mid-to-low-90s player and a bunch of low 80s is normally good for a play-in spot, so you'd expect this team to be ranked closer to 20 than to 1, but it's worked for this team before. Maybe it was a fluke, and the Tropics are in for a rude awakening... or maybe that's just the Andre Drummond / Matthew Honolulu effect at work. Even last year, they were a ho-hum four seed that then rode some huge upsets to their second ring of the sim. No matter how they do to start the year, bet against them at your own risk.
PLAYOFF LOCKS
6. Atlanta Hawks - After losing Jayson Tatum in free agency and trading away Tyrese Maxey, the Hawks are hitting a soft reset, but it's really more of a retool. Ageless wonder Kyrie looks poised to put up even better scoring numbers as the undisputed first option now, and maybe Scottie Barnes will finally actually put up stats worth of a 90 overall with fewer mouths to feed. The Hawks may not have some of the true high-end star power of some of the teams above them, but they have unparalleled depth and excellent team fit, as well as the assets to aggressively upgrade if they decide to change tact. After a few disappointing playoff years, maybe a slight change in the locker room was all that was needed.
7. Charlotte Hornets - Trading for Nikola Jokic and Rudy Gobert, both of whom are expiring, was a ballsy move by the Hornets. On the court though, it looks likely to pay off. Jokic's playmaking will be a force multiplier alongside Dyson Daniels, Jaden Hardy, and Scoot Henderson, while Gobert can clean up a lot of defensive mistakes on the other end. The depth here is decent as well, if a little frontcourt heavy. If Jokic continues to only be a sub-20 ppg guy, it's hard to see them as a true contender, but this team should win around 50 games this year, and that's certainly some real progress.
8. Los Angeles Lakers - The Lakers seem to be a team content to snatch former Hawks players, signing Jayson Tatum in free agency and trading for Tyrese Maxey to complement incumbent starter Bam Adebayo. Maxey disappointed greatly last year, but could bounce back to his Mavericks production here in a larger role. The Lakers have a stable of additional big men (Jakob Poeltl, Omer Yurtseven, Matt Bewley) but significantly less help on the perimeter, which could hold them back. Maybe R.J. Blakney (also part of the Maxey trade) will be what they need, but they probably could use a few additional backcourt pieces if they want to make it out of the first round.
9. Vancouver Grizzlies - Darius Garland, Brandon Ingram, and Roko Prkacin form a really exciting young big 3. Jonathan Isaac slots in perfectly as a hyper-low-usage defensive wing next to them, as well. However, they are starting 78 overall Harold Rogers as their center, and the depth leaves much to be desired. They have a great core in place, but are still a few pieces away.
10. San Antonio Spurs - Rounding out the top-ten are the Spurs. They drafted LaMelo Ball and Jalen Suggs all those years ago for a reason, and now both are large, two-way, playmaking guards above a 90 overall. Mark Williams is a solid starting center as well. That trio gets you in the playoffs. A supporting cast whose best player is Saddiq Bey (13 ppg on 42% shooting last year) might prevent you from making it much further, though).
11. Toronto Raptors - Stop me if you've heard this one before; Luka Doncic is great, but his supporting cast isn't. Jalen Brunson, Mikal Bridges, Jerami Grant, Myles Turner, Theo Maledon, Daniel Gafford, and Aaron Gordon are all useful pieces. But none of them are above an 83, and good luck winning a championship with only one true star (unless you're located in Hawaii, I guess). Their GM has certainly tried to acquire a true star, but hasn't had any luck yet, and until he does, they'll be lucky to make it past the first round.
12. Dallas Mavericks - Jalen Green and Jaylen Brown are disgusting scorers, but not enough to carry this team to being a real contender. Kristaps Porzingis continued his trend of being essentially bad at everything, but youngsters Ousmane Dieng and Matthew Mayer put up good counting stats to compensate, albeit on similarly poor efficiency. A thin bench behind that starting team doesn't help matters much either, but they should certainly still make the playoffs.
PLAY-IN TEAMS
13. Chicago Bulls - This feels like they should be a playoff lock after overperforming for two straight years, but it's a loaded field and someone has to be down here. The Bulls' nasty backcourt of Kennedy Chandler, Cason Wallace, and JD Davison remains, and veteran lynchpin Pascal Siakam does as well. They have good supporting characters like Anfernee Simons, Lynn Edwards, Josh Hart, and Nic Claxton. But short of Lynn's magical run in 2024, this team just hasn't had the firepower to match up with any of the heavy hitters.
14. New York Knicks - The Knicks have one of the best players in this tier in Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, and Sabonis is usually the per-36 GOAT, though he played horribly last year. Dariq Whitehead is no shmuck either. However, the roster around those three is paper thin, which keeps them from being a sure thing to return to the playoffs.
15. Phoenix Suns - The Suns lucked out big-time by landing Donovan Mitchell, and he should form an amazing scoring duo with Anthony Edwards, albeit one light on playmaking. John Collins and Keegan Murray form a powerful forward duo as well. However, they're starting 75 overall rookie Alvin Morgan at center. This roster has so much talent that they certainly should not miss the playoffs, but with a gaping hole that big on the roster, I'm not sold just yet.
16. Seattle SuperSonics - This team has LeBron James, Joel Embiid, Collin Sexton, and Jonathan Kuminga... how could they be so low? Well, LeBron is down to an 86 and hasn't been on a winning team in years, while Embiid averaged 14 points per game on 44% shooting, and is on the trade block. It seems more likely that this team stagnates than takes some massive leap.
17. Portland Trail Blazers - There's a wide range of outcomes that could happen for this team, and as a result, they end up right in the middle. They didn't make many changes around their two stars of De'Aaron Fox and Karl-Anthony Towns, instead hoping that progression for their young guys can improve the squad. Perhaps Chris Livingston makes a superstar leap, Anthony Davis shores up a leaky defense and adds a little extra scoring, and they swing a trade for a superstar and look like a Finals contender. Or, perhaps LeBron James Jr. and Anthony Davis continue their mediocre production from last year, and this team ends up right back in the late lottery.
18. Denver Nuggets - Perhaps this is too harsh, but it appears that the Nuggets have fallen from perennial contention to play-in bubble with a single trade. They sent out three near-90s in Jabari Smith Jr., Johnny Davis, and Jaren Jackson Jr. The former two are both on rookie deals and average roughly 24-8-6 while also being great defenders, and JJJ chipped in 17-8 with 3.7 stocks and 2.5 made 3s. Getting back Devin Booker and a bunch of rookies is cool, but this team couldn't make it past the second round even with those studs; I'm not convinced they even make the playoffs without them.
19. Washington Wizards - The Wizards know they're a middle-of-the-pack team, and as such have been trying hard to acquire a star. However, 80 overall James Harden doesn't exactly fit the bill. Victor Wembanyama is a monster on defense, but Cam Whitmore is the only true source of shot creation on this team, and a lackluster offensive will hold them back from being above average unless they add a true number one option.
20. Orlando Magic - This team struggled mightily last year despite a really strong-looking big four, and things have only gotten worse. Donovan Mitchell left in free agency, and Anthony Davis was moved to get off his nearly $50 million guaranteed for next year. I'd like to say that Dalen Terry and Evan Mobley are a nice young duo for the future, but Mobley really hasn't produced well up to this point, and this team has minimal draft picks. Maybe they'll sell one or both of their young superstars for a massive draft haul in return, but barring that, they should again be on the very fringes of the playoffs.
LOTTERY TEAMS
21. Los Angeles Clippers - Trae Young followed up an amazing 2024 season with an absolute stinker, where he didn't even lead his team in points despite their abjectly terrible record. Maybe that was just the LeBron effect, and moving him will be addition by subtraction. However, even if Trae performs closer to his 2024 level than to 2025, he still doesn't have much help.
22. Cleveland Cavaliers - This should be a competent team, but they knew what they were doing when they sold Darius Garland and got mostly picks in return. They added Kevin Durant for next to nothing, but Durant's Warriors were horrendous even with Steph Curry on the squad last year; an even older Durant and Josh Giddey won't be much better. When Durant is inevitably flipped, this team will sink even lower in the standings (intentionally).
23. New Orleans Pelicans - Check almost anything that's been written on them for the last three years, and you'll have a good indication for this year too. James Wiseman and Jaden Ivey are still good, the rest of the team is still pretty much not.
25. Boston Celtics - Unfortunately, the Celtics were not able to replicate their strategy of signing a max free agent and flipping them for an ungodly amount of picks. After entering free agency armed to the teeth with cash, the Celtics only walked away with Clint Capela, and haven't even shown an interest in trading him. When your highest overall is an 85 overall defensive center, your team is going to struggle greatly to generate quality offense, and that will keep the Celtics firmly in a rebuild for this year, unless they turn in some of their 13 future firsts for an upgrade.
25. Milwaukee Bucks - Much like the Celtics, the Bucks swung for the fences in free agency and struck out. They have a solid starting five of vets in Jamal Murray, Malcolm Brogdon, Kawhi Leonard, Lauri Markkanen, and Christian Wood. However, Kawhi is their second-best player at only an 84, they have no rim protection to speak of, and Malik Beasley is the only bench player above a 75. If you bumped the entire roster by 5 overall, they might be the 4 seed. As things stand, the next time we mention Milwaukee will probably be on draft night.
26. Miami Heat - The Heat have two guys in the mid-80s in Jimmy Butler and Jalen Williams, but both had very middling production last year, and Jimmy Butler has been seemingly on the block for years now. They have some other interesting young pieces like Kendall Brown, John Butler, A.J. Griffin, Mikey Williams, and more, but all seem more like complementary pieces than any sort of future star. Jean Montero might have the most promise, and if he can build on a strong 2025 season, the Heat could make a Cinderella run up to -- and potentially even through -- the play-in.
27. Indiana Pacers - The Pacers haven't really done much to improve, and have lost second-leading scorer D'Angelo Russell. Their team is still mostly Deandre Ayton and a bunch of meh 80ish overall players. They added another high draft pick in Lester Mack, but if he works out as well as their last one did in Terence Adams, they might be making a third consecutive top-3 selection again this year.
TANKERS
28. Kansas City Scouts - The team formerly known as the Thunder have steadily dropped every single year from their initial "superteam." All that's left to show for it now is Tyrese Haliburton, who averaged 14 points last year. Maybe they can trade him to get some of their own first rounders back.
29. Philadelphia 76ers - The 76ers' tanking last year was rewarded with the top pick, and they used it on the best on-paper prospect we've seen in a while in Harry Halloway. However, their buyouts from a year ago are still on the cap sheet, which prevented them from making any noise in free agency. Halloway could turn out to be a god, but with only one other player on the team above an 80 overall, it looks like the Sixers are taking the longest view in the room.
30. Golden State Warriors - This was a bottom five team last year, and that was with Steph Curry and Kevin Durant. Now the offensive burden falls to... Jordan Poole and Deni Avdija. Yikes. On the bright side, just think of the per-36 numbers Randle is going to put up.
31. Brooklyn Nets - The Brooklyn Nets are stockpiling future firsts (specifically in 2027) so that the Brooklyn Nets can draft more players in that year, leading to a lot of good talent eventually on the Brooklyn Nets. Sadly, it is not 2027 for two more years, and the Brooklyn Nets have very few good players at the moment.
32. Utah Jazz - Malakhi Branham is the offensive focal point of this team, surrounded by defenders like E.J. Liddell and Keldon Johnson, and inefficient scorers like Kevin Porter Jr. There's just not nearly enough firepower for this team to do anything with, and even those "defenders" will still likely struggle to lift this team out of the bottom ten on that end of the court. With no real high-caliber rookies, there's not much upside here either