So apparently the Denver Nuggets just gave away demi-god Jamal Murray to the Sixers. For what, you ask? A bundle of expired coupons, a couple of contract corpses, and some mystery draft picks that might as well be Monopoly money. This wasn’t a trade—it was a daylight robbery.

Word is, Philly dangled Embiid like a rotting carrot. Thanks, but no thanks. That injury-prone statue spends more time pouting than playing. At this point, he's basically a luxury tax penalty with knees. Send him to Skip Bayless’s cryogenic salt mine since the fossil can’t go five minutes without fanboying over the guy.

Oh, and Paul George? Please. Philly said they’d throw him in, but we told them he'salready being scoped out by the Suns, now that they’ve finally dumped that glass-jawed twig Kevin Durant. The Suns’ front office might be clueless, but even they know George’s two healthy games a year are an upgrade.

So congrats to Philly. You didn’t just fleece Denver—you finessed a franchise. Just hope Murray doesn't realize mid-season he’s surrounded by bricklayers and TikTok defenders.