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Hard knocks a season in the NBA episode 3: Portland Trailblazers


NR1: Good afternoon everyone. I’m your host Charles Barkley

NR2: and I”m your co-host Shaq

CB: We have a good matchup on our hands between Toronto and Portland

SH: Anfernee Simons made comments regarding the medias comments. Here is the video

AS: Do they really think that they can get to me. I’m the one whose playing the game and their the ones learning about fractions and how to use a microscope. I will prove them wrong. I don’t think I will, I guarantee I will.

CB: We’ll I hope he can walk the walk because he knows how to talk the talk

SH: He sure does

Shaedon Sharpe: You good man?

Anfernee Simons: I’m good I’m just stressed because if I play bad then I’ll get hated on

Shaedon Sharpe: You’ll get hated on even if you play good

Anfernee Simons: Hold on, some kid on X is arguing with me about my VORP

SS: *eyeroll

AS: *secretly playing brawl stars with Scoot Henderson who’s across the room

Trailblazers coach: Ok guys time to go warmup

SCOOT: Hold on I gotta finish this brawlstars game real quick

TC: *eyeroll

After Warmups:

CB: Tipoff is underway

SHAQ: And Anfernee sinks a 3. 3-0 Blazers. I also got a comment for the closed captions guy. Can you make me SO?

ME: yeah np

CB: Now that we’re done with that let’s continue watching the game

Later: 57-54 halftime

CB: The Blazers are down 3 but Simons had a 19 point first half

SO: If he keeps it up he’ll prove them wrong

CB: Quickley had a 13 and Barnes had a 15 point half so they’ll half to neutralize them

SO: I guess Simons brought his A game in offense but his C game in defense

SS: I told you they’d keep hating on you

AS: I guess you’re right

SS: I’m always right

AS: No you’re not

SS: Yes I am

AS: Remember when you told me the pink stuff in your attic was cotton candy?

SS: Yes

AS: I didn’t eat it but you still lied

SS: That was on April 1st that doesn’t count

SH: You tryna play brawlstars Anfernee

AS: Nah I’m good. I already got the SpongeBob el primo

SH: Already?

AS: mhm

SH: You’re such a sweat

SS: I guess Scoot is never wrong too

AS: Scoot is never wrong but you’re always wrong

2nd half:

End of 3rd quarter

TB:79 TOR: 87

CB: Simons scored one free throw in the third quarter but limited Quickley to just two points

SO: I guess he did bring his A game defense

CB: He also brought his C game defense

SO: To motivate him I will buy him a Shaqaroni pizza from papa John’s if he gets more than 12 points in the 4th quarter

Start of fourth quarter

Simons from deep…

SO: Bang! Draws the foul too.

CB: That was crazy. From the logo and it was a bad foul

SO: It looks like he has some right shoulder pain

3 minutes left in the 4th quarter

TB: 101

TOR:107

The Blazers are down six let’s see if they’ll make a comeback

Time passes..

CB: Toronto has the ball with 31 seconds left in a 111-111 game

SO: It should be a fun one to watch

CB: Barrett throws it in to Quickley, Quickley dishes to Poeltl, Poeltl shoots from deep. He missed but Barnes gets the putback with 18 seconds left

SO: unbelievable

CB: Simons inbounds to Sharpe, and Sharpe passes back to Simons. Simons sits a the top of the key until 9 seconds left

SS: gotta set a good screen

Deni Avdija: I’m open. I hope he sees me in the corner

8.

Ayton: I gotta position myself for a rebound if he misses

7.

CB: Simons takes the screen passes to Avdija in the corner. He fakes the shot passes back to Simons

5.

AS: Cmon lil Quickley

IQ: cmon lil Simons.

3.

CB: He shakes Quickley with a nasty step back

1.

CB: He takes the shot and..

AS: I guarantee it

SO: Hits the back iron

CB: It hits the front iron

SS: it goes in

AS: TAKE THAT HATERS. Hey Scoot you wanna play brawlstars in the locker room

SH: Clingan said he’d play with me. Avdija says he play with you

AS: Bet.

DA: 17 point 4th quarter is crazy Anfernee

AS: I know. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get two shaqaronis

Comment shaqaroni for a chance in next episode

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