Here’s a fun, stupid idea I had. I mentioned that I’m into VGC, and I thought we were due for a fun sh*tpost, so ta da!

Here’s a groundwork of how this will go. One, all Pokemon will be considered ONLY by how their performance in competitive play. This means that LeBron will not be Pikachu simply because they are the face of the NBA/franchise. Two, just so I don’t go off the rails, I’m limiting myself to only Pokemon available currently in Champions, and they are based solely on their performance in Champions. Calyrex-Shadow will not be jump scaring you today. Three, I’m lowkey feeling committed to this series, so if you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, that’s okay, it’s kinda crazy that someone so into sports like me is also into this, but alas, it is what it is. This isn’t gonna be daily, okay? Maybe like once or twice a week. Just tampering expectations.

Luka Doncic - Staraptor

Once Staraptor mega evolves, it immediately becomes a major offensive threat. Luka is the same, leading the league in first quarter scoring. Prior to mega evolving though, Staraptor has the ability Intimidate. I don’t know, but if you ask me, Luka is pretty intimidating too. Mega Staraptor has the ability Contrary, turning all stat drops into stat buffs. This can apply to Luka, who also turns into a Super Saiyan when met with trash talk (looking at you Matas Buzelis). Because of this, the big bird in the sky gets stronger throughout the game, as it continues to get buffed over and over. Luka Doncic also gets more dangerous as the game progresses, because once he’s read and figured out the defense, it’s barbecue chicken. Just like Luka, Staraptor can take over entire games by itself, and is one of the premier meta threats. You’re gonna need multiple answers, as if it’s a double team, but it’s still likely not enough. It’s just a sense of helplessness. You KNOW Luka’s dropping 40 on your head. You KNOW your opponent is clicking Close Combat. You KNOW you can’t stop any of it.

You may be thinking, “Luka’s not just a scorer, he’s a playmaker too!” Well, that stupid bird also gets Tailwind, Roost, and Final Gambit. You want speed control? It got you. You want recovery? It got you. You want to trade a kill one for one to set up another Mon instead? It got you. Oh yeah, and freakin Intimidate. So yeah, if you want Staraptor to be support, it can easily do that. So that’s why Luka Doncic is Staraptor.