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A New Fan's Opinion of Premier League Clubs

Hello everyone, I have started watching the game known as football/soccer during the Premier League relegation battle, so know next to nothing about these squads. I spent summer watching the local NPSL squad and top flight football is finally back in Europe. So, here's what I think, knowing next to nothing, about each club in the premier league this year.

Arsenal: Bottlers. Laughing stocks. Basically like being a Hornets fan, even though the teams aren't similar at all.

Aston Villa: Mid

Bournemouth: 16th place or something, just high enough to not be fighting to stay up on the last day. I only know this town is on the south coast and I saw it once in geoguessr I think, with some cool looking views.

Brentford: Who?

Brighton: Mid

Burnley: Mid

Chelsea: Y'all really named your club after a female first name. Anyway, I think you stole some player who was about to sign somewhere and also weren't you the Russian club? Mid, tenth place.

Crystal Palace: Mid

Everton: Honestly, I feel sorry for Everton. Almost lost the club last year due to some financial negligence. Was rooting for them to stay up and they did. I kinda like Everton because of that.

Fulham: Mid

Liverpool: Got robbed, plus I've heard the town is kinda rebounding from deindustrialization and becoming interesting again so I respect Liverpool.

Luton Town: Best story in the Premier League, walking over people's houses to get into the stadium. Obviously rooting for Luton Town but I can't imagine them finishing higher than like 17th

Man City: Treble squad, best team in town, not a whole lot more to say, gonna prob finish 1st again.

Man United: Glory Glory Man United more like Man United not even the best in their own town despite being seen as the big brother. Like how it would be to be the Lakers if the Clippers three-peated

Newcastle: A country owns y'all so you're gonna do good, doesn't mean I like you though. Plus black and white colors, boring.

Nottingham Forest: Cool name I guess, but aren't these guys supposed to get relegated?

Sheffield United: These guys just made it to the Premier League again and are going back down to the championship. Sorry

Tottenham: Tottenham fans are chads, as evidenced by every single Tottenham fan I've ever known. Lowkey like this team, one of the only ones I'm actually happy to see win. But Kane wants out so they won't be great this year

West Ham: Where's East Ham? Also why you naming yourself after food? Anyway, don't care too much about these guys, always kinda good but not that good, basically the Blazers or something is my opinion

Wolves: I hear these guys are terrible so I guess they're getting relegated.

Predictions (these are gonna be wild):

  1. Man City

  2. Liverpool

  3. Arsenal

  4. Newcastle

  5. Man United

  6. West Ham

  7. Tottenham

  8. Chelsea

  9. Aston Villa

  10. Brighton

  11. Crystal Palace

  12. Fulham

  13. Burnley

  14. Brentford

  15. Bournemouth

  16. Everton

  17. Luton Town

  18. Sheffield United

  19. Nottingham Forest

  20. Wolves

Feel free to correct me on any of these thoughts in the comments. I don't know much about this sport and this probably shows it, but I'm interested to watch some more. Didn't get a chance to watch the very first game of the season so none of that is impacting my view. I'm excited that it's finally August again!